I’ve just returned from a fantastic, successful retreat weekend in Switzerland and I’m tired. To be fair, I was tired before, but the aftermath of creating, thinking through, designing, organizing, and eventually holding space, for this event to go off without a hitch, takes a lot out of me. It is literally the work I love to do most, and also, it requires much more of me that perhaps people realize. I have been back just about a week and I still feel like wearing jogging pants and puttering around my house all day. The relief to “only” be teaching 8 classes a week for the next month is profound. I feel like I have a few minutes to myself, and should I really want to peruse the shelves of the library for 10 mins, I am currently not feeling guilty about it. Yes, in high planning periods any time not poured into creating the work is guilt-ridden.

For me, when I am planning a retreat, training, or even a workshop, I need/want/have to expend an insane amount of creative and mental energy to bring things into reality. Let me put it this way: in the 18 years and counting of teaching yoga really consistently, I still take hours to plan out my classes each week. Can I teach a class at the drop of a hat? For sure! But I don’t want to. For many reasons, that perhaps I will go into another time, creating the most effective, authentic practice I can offer is my mission each and every time. I want to consider who the students are, what is going on in my life, what may be going on for them, and what we have done together previously, each time I build a class. So yeah, it takes a bit of time. Now imagine what happens when I am planning a week long retreat! The number of hours/days/months I spend mulling over the ideas, then refining them, and finally bringing them into reality, can’t really be counted. All I know is that it’s a LOOOOOOONG process. (For example, it’s not even the end of November and I’m thinking about and writing ideas for a workshop in January, and I’ve already had a few thoughts for my retreat NEXT November. Yes, this is how I work.)

This brings up the age old question: How do we do it all? To be honest, I think we don’t. I mean that, simply put, life is always a give and take. To make certain things come about, something else must be sacrificed, and so really it’s just a matter of what we are prioritizing at any given moment. So, right now I am prioritizing down time. I’m letting myself scan the library shelves and may have even taken out piece of light fiction. I am taking time to try new recipes and switch up the somewhat boring routine we get into for our weekly meals. I’m finding my creative outlets in jewelry making, and I’m scrolling through pictures of puppies up for adoption, because we always need a new project! I am giving myself guilt-free permission to sit on the floor and do puzzles with my kids, and am not ashamed to admit to curling up on the couch for a mid day power nap. At least for this week, maybe even a few, life feels manageably slow and just a bit more in balance. The crazy in me wants to “get ahead of the mess” and start in on the bigger projects for the spring, but that seems like a colossal waste of some much needed and available rest. So I will do my best to stay present and just focus and enjoy these allusive days and moments!