Sometimes we are given some pretty blatant reminders of how fleeting and fragile this material life is. The start of this year has been a lesson, or perhaps a series of lessons, on impermanence. My practices have been detachment, acceptance, surrender, resilience, and the current one I’m striving for, softening and grace. It is funny how lessons arrive in our lives. Compounded and sometimes, repeated over and over until we “get it”.
These are my reminders of impermanence:
This body of mine can feel pain and stress and fatigue. It can age and gain, or lose weight. It can even break sometimes. But this isn’t my essence. Attachment to my physical form will only lead to more suffering as we inevitably age and of course, must pass from this life. And so I say to myself: this physical body that I inhabit, is not me.
The comfort of my home and the material things we own that help us feel like we have a place, and that keep us safe, warm and comfortable, are ours to borrow, but not to keep forever. What is here now, may be gone in another instant, and attachment to owning these things creates suffering. I remind myself that my happiness can not rest on what I possess, or I will lose my happiness as swiftly and frequently as I may lose these things that I own. And, (this one is harder) attachment to the home we create is an attachment to a false sense of security. Nothing stays the same forever.
The dependability and reliability of having loved ones in our lives is an illusion. We can’t choose when our body and mind may decide to separate. The physical connection is ever changing, and ultimately, is temporary. The soul connection, now that is something more.
In those moments when it feels like all there is, is change, and it’s coming at you fast and furious, what do you choose to do? Sometimes, when we are uncomfortable, we readily and eagerly await the change that will inevitably come. Other times, when life is comfortable and easier, we wish for it to remain that way forever. I realize in the challenging times, my response is normally to throw myself up against it and bemoan the changes I am not ready for. Right now I’m tentatively trying out something different. It’s an attempt to soften and surrender. You could say it is an attempt to accept what is, rather than suffer while I desperately cling to what was, or what I hoped for. The ability to bend, weave and pivot with the changes that come will ultimately ensure a more peaceful life.