I have, inadvertently uncovered a major hangup that many of us seem to have. So the other day I decided I wanted to offer a little something to my community that would be fun, and would give them a chance to win a massage with me. But there was a catch – I asked people to share something they currently do that is of service to others.
Now I figured people would jump at the opportunity to get a massage for free with me, but here’s what really happened. You all became terribly uncomfortable. It started with my own husband, but I could feel it with the reluctancy to comment by others of you who I know were interested.
And so I started thinking about why. Why is it that we don’t acknowledge what we do? Because we fee like we are bragging? Because we feel like when we mention how we serve it is no longer of service? Because we know that humility is an important virtue to possess? Yes. I get these same feelings myself. But here are some things to think about:
We can acknowledge our strengths, we can even acknowledge the ways we serve, with humility. Humility comes in our intention – the spirit in which we give. Why do we do the things we do? Do we do it to get acclamation and praise? Then yes, this is not the spirit of humility or of service. Here’s what The Virtues Project has to say about humility:
…We give our very best, and trust that it is enough. Humility reminds us to be thankful for our successes rather than boastful.
To be thankful, we have to acknowledge, right?
And there’s more. Here’s a snippet from The Virtues Project on service:
Using our gifts to be of service is the fullest expression of our lives…A spirit of service invests whatever we do with excellence. We give our best effort. People who want to be of service can change the world.
In my offering, I wanted us to take a minute to reflect on what we do to help each other out, because it does matter and it does make a difference. As a mom (which any parent will tell you, is a job that doesn’t provide a lot of positive feedback or validation!) I know that it can sometimes feel like we’re not really doing anything of value. Many of us might feel this way from time to time in whatever it is that we do. But we are doing important work! All the time. And when we stop and recognize it, we can see our work in terms of service and we can offer it freely and fully.
Here’s the other bit.
To see one another in the light of service. When we shift our own perspective to consider what we do and what spirit we offer it in, we shift how we view others around us and what they are offering. We can perhaps find more patience, kindness and empathy towards one another, and most of all, we can feel how interconnected and interdependent we are as a community. We rely on each others’ giving to create a safe, comfortable environment in which we are all growing and learning, but perhaps we don’t see or acknowledge it in others because we are disgruntled in our own work, or because we are just too tired out. Either way, imagine if we were to uplift each other and take the time to acknowledge what we see others doing?
So the next time I challenge you to come up with ways in which you serve, will you find the courage and space to look within and share?