I’m a do-er. I am a classic check list gal. I plan, I prepare, I double check. I tend to play life like a chess game – always a few moves ahead. Some might say that’s not very yogic of me – with all the mindfulness and presence that I talk about. In reality that’s a big part of why I need and love my yoga and meditation practices. They are my antidote to my Type A personality.
I catch glimpses of Presence. When I meditate and pray (though it doesn’t always come), when I am blown away by the beauty of nature, or the place I’m in. When I step out of my house manager role and stare at the wonders that are my children. Glimpses. And somehow, these past 2 weeks, I found myself detached in a new way. For the first time in a while, for an extended period of time, I let go of all the lists and future plans.
Life became so much simpler. My mind became so much quieter. I felt weightless and free in a way I don’t normally experience. I didn’t have to manage my life and that of my family’s. I didn’t bother preparing for events in the future. I took each day and filled it with being. Being with my kids, being with my husband, being with my students, being in nature. It was heavenly. I felt connected to purpose, to grace – like I had a direct line to the boundless energy of the universe. It was easy to give because I could feel the energy, the life force pouring into me and pouring out. Prana was on tap and it was in incredible feeling.
A couple of years ago an article by Omid Safi spoke to me deeply about the struggles of our “to-do list” culture. He titled it “The Disease of Being Busy”. Here’s a tidbit:
Tell me you remember you are still a human being, not just a human doing. Tell me you’re more than just a machine, checking off items from your to-do list. Have that conversation, that glance, that touch. Be a healing conversation, one filled with grace and presence.
Certainly the whole article is worth a read:
http://www.onbeing.org/blog/the-disease-of-being-busy/7023
As I sit here with my planner, calendar and email open, and a long list of things to get done, I long for the breeze on my skin as I sit and watch the sunrise, and for the feeling of being submerged in water. The simplicity of surrender to nature…These are the moments I feel connected; these are the moments I am free. I also know that I have tools to access this space no matter where I am, and no matter how long my to-do list is. I just need to keep using them. Breathe in, breathe out.
What keeps us remembering our purpose? How can we balance out our obligations in life with our connection to our Creator? With our connection to ourselves? Breathe, meditate, pray, repeat.