Sometimes, especially when life seems so perfect and ideal, I find myself hardly able to stand the joy and the blessings. We often talk about why it’s important not to avoid or shy away from the uncomfortable feelings and experiences in life, but what about the truly amazing?
At times in my life (and right now is one of them), I feel overcome with feelings. This mixture of amazement and awe at how crazily wonderful my life is, and then this fear. This fear is the fear of the other shoe dropping. Do you know that feeling? That sense that everything might be great now, but just wait, something terrible is going to have to happen to counteract that.
This morning I watched the sunrise and led a sunrise meditation on balance. And here’s what I was struck with once again. Our lives, the world, it is always a balancing act. There must be highs and lows, good and bad, night and day. if we temper down the highs it doesn’t mean our lows will be less painful. It just dulls our pleasure in the present moment.
I often worry that I am undeserving of all the bounties I have received in life. Especially when compared with the stark reality of others’ suffering. So why me? Why should I live such a charmed life and not the next person? In the big picture, I am not sure if it has anything to do with deserving or not. Luck, circumstance, these both have a hand. But ultimately, whether I “earned” this life or not, should I not take the time to appreciate it and be grateful?
And so, even though there is always another shoe, and even though there might be a big low coming up, I am in this moment filled from the inside out with the deepest gratitude for all that I have been given. Worthy or not. And my hope is to work, and continue to work on myself to maybe one day be deserving.
This is my prayer: May we all be blessed, and may we strive to live a life that is deserving of all the love and light as well as the darkness in our lives. And, may we embrace the light and the dark fully, not living in fear of what is to come, but being truly in the moment. Namaste my friends. I honor the light and the dark within me, and within you.
Amazing words Nura….I’ve been amongst the midst of wondering many of the same things….looking forward to your classes when you get back!!
Thank you Bryn! Definitely something to think about!
Thank you, Nu. What an inspiring setting for such contemplation!
Fiidnng this post solves a problem for me. Thanks!
It was dark when I woke. This is a ray of suseihnn.
What a plauesre to meet someone who thinks so clearly
Always a good job right here. Keep rolling on thruogh.
It’s good to see someone thikning it through.
Heck of a job there, it abuoestlly helps me out.
You are so awesome for helping me solve this myeytrs.
You have shed a ray of sunishne into the forum. Thanks!