This is what January was like for me internally:
- I begin to understand that a strong sense of responsibility can take on the distortion of control when we assume more responsibility than is actually our own. It may just be time to become a little less responsible. And also to trust more.
- As familiar as I am with trust, I am learning that: to trust is to free-fall – no arms reaching out to catch hold of the sides, just falling. There are no guarantees, no promises, and no quick fixes or relief. We look around for “easy buttons” (as Glennon Melton Doyle would call them) to escape the hot loneliness and fear and the pain, or possibility of it. But trust is choosing to NOT reach for a quick fix out of uncertainty, it is becoming comfortable in it. No wonder it is so terrifying.
- Life is always uncertain, so to spend our time in the land of “what ifs” is a dangerous place to be. When we “what if”, we are projecting fantasy or horror or some combination of the two onto our future. It is not reality. We need to see what is actually in front of us, and not project/assume or interpret with a preconceived idea based on our past experiences. This is ultimate presence without baggage. It is also the beginnings of peace.
- To hang on to any semblance of peace by trying to remain present and seeing exactly what is, requires crazy degrees of patience and fortitude.
“O SON OF MAN! For everything there is a sign. The sign of love is fortitude under My decree and patience under My trials.” – The Hidden Words of Bahá’u’lláh
The sign of love is fortitude and patience.
- It all comes back to love.