I began writing this post as a stream of consciousness almost 2 weeks ago.  Funny how I’ve sat with it since then.  Then today, as I woke up to 2018 I thought about how many people use the new year to decide to make a fresh start, or to take action towards their health and well-being, and so it occurred to me that all this ties in to the exact topic I’ve been contemplating: Choice.

We are choosing at every moment. We are never powerless, but we are only as powerful as our ability to see the choices we have.  At any moment we can relinquish choice and power to someone or something else.  We can allow others’ actions and words, or the circumstances we are in, to place a set of blinkers over our eyes so that we see nothing but the route that is being shown to us by the situation we are in, or the person who is dictating the action.

But even in the moments when we feel most like a victim, when we are beaten down, broken down and feel like life has dealt us a shit hand, we still have a choice.   When we are stuck clinging to one set of thoughts and ideals it is likely that the story we are holding on to comes from a place of fear, and it is what is dictating what we end up doing.  In this instance we move forward in the only direction we think we can, because we have made it seem like there is no other choice.  But there is. There always is.  Sometimes the other choices are more uncomfortable, or just feel too hard, but they are there. Why is it then that we let ourselves remain in the tunnel? What is it about the myopic point of view that is more appealing that taking off the blinders to see what else is possible?

Even in decision-making processes we can feel like there is sometimes no right way, no clear path forward.  “Damned if I do, damned if I don’t”, or how about “stuck between a rock and a hard place”? These are common cliched phrases because so many of us struggle with the same thing.  The feeling of being stuck with an impossible choice.  One question to ask ourselves is: Am I seeing the whole picture?We then have the seemingly impossible task of zooming out of the minutia of this moment to try and gain perspective.   How do we broaden our view of what is happening? Perhaps, as in the case of the blinkers scenario, we can take a second to look all around us.  What else is there? Perhaps there is another solution or idea that hasn’t been imagined yet, or can’t be, as long as we remain with our blinkers on.

For years now I have heard the AA prayer. It speaks to me on many levels:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference